TWO LPs

A boutique is no comfort in rainfall. It is never comforting to seek shelter inside a failed dream.

LISTEN,

It's nothing much: just a few empty rooms, a cot, a copy of "Future Shock," and a harpsichord that's wildly out of tune. It's really not worth it, but if you insist on visiting abandoned places, go ahead.

STANLEY'S ADVENTURES

Stanley stepped into the office and felt a wave of anxiety take over his body. The regular receptionist was gone. He reached to his left for a magazine, finding nothing but an old issue of New York. It was now 5:30. Stanley considered approaching the receptionist, but averred. Finally, she called his name. "The Doctor will see you now."

COMMA

"You shoot like a girl."
"I don't shoot like a girl!"
"Yes, you do."
"Stop calling me names."
"You call me names. I'm just trying to help you."

FORMULAS

Expired blueberries and two bags of Act II Microwave Popcorn.
Concern over the death of a loved one and a late-night visit to Taco Bell.
Fending off the unwanted advances of a pharmaceutical salesman and a double-decker roast beef sandwich.